You've heard the song lyrics. "He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake."
Every holiday season comes with lists.
The naughty list. The nice list. The grocery list.
And for physicians? The most exhausting one of all: the should list.
- I should pick up the extra shift.
- I should host the office party
- I should keep everyone happy.
- I should be grateful and not feel this tired.
The problem isn’t that you care.
It’s that the “should list” quietly turns care into obligation, and obligation into burnout.
This season, the real work isn’t being nicer or doing more. It’s deciding what you care about.
Burnout doesn’t come from working hard alone.
It comes from working hard without agency
Coach's Corner
The Holiday List Reset (5 minutes)
Grab a pen and spend some time answering the following questions:
- What’s one item currently on your “should list” that feels heavy rather than meaningful?
- Who put it there? You, or expectations you absorbed?
- If you removed it, what would you gain: rest, presence, relief, joy? What would it cost you?
Now ask yourself the question most physicians skip:
Is keeping this on my list actually aligned with who I want to be this season?
You don’t need permission to choose differently. You need practice remembering that you can.
If this resonates, it’s not accidental.
This is exactly the kind of pattern we unpack in Mastery & Wellness: How to Thrive as a Physician.
Not platitudes. Not toxic positivity. Simple, real tools to reclaim agency, set boundaries, and finding meaining, especially during high-pressure seasons.
This holiday, you don’t need a better list.
You need fewer “shoulds” and more choice.
Ben
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