Fall makes me want to rest. I rarely do.

A small change first. Starting this month, this letter is coming once a month instead of every week. You'll get a short note from me and the posts I've written since the last one, all in one place. Less in your inbox, and I hope a little more worth opening.

It's the first week of fall. Just saying that makes me want to pull out a hoodie and some sweatpants and sit next to a fire. The days are shorter, the evenings are cooler, and the whole season seems to be coaxing me toward rest. It's something I love to do and wish I did more. I rarely slow down enough for it to happen.

When I asked myself why, the answer wasn't my schedule. It was a voice. The one in the back of my mind that says, "Ugh, you don't belong here." It gets louder when I slow down. Stop moving, and it starts building the case that someone is about to notice I don't measure up. So I keep moving. I suspect many of you do the same.

That's the thread through what I wrote this month. Rest is a skill, and like any skill, it has to be practiced.

The payoff isn't only physical, either. When I actually slow down, I get room to think. To contemplate. Even to take the old affirmation seriously for a minute: "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me." It's easy to laugh at that line. It's harder to believe it on a Tuesday after clinic, and nearly impossible when you never stop long enough to hear yourself say it.

From the blog this month

The Dream That You Don't Belong (Even Thirty Years In) — for anyone who knows that voice. Nearly thirty years after I was admitted to medical school, I still have the dream when the load goes up. What the data says, and the kind of evidence that actually quiets it.

Daily Affirmations and Physician Coaching — for anyone who rolls their eyes at affirmations. What a 1990s SNL sketch got right, and why a mirror was always the wrong prop.

Rest Is a Professional Skill — for anyone who sleeps eight hours and still walks into the week empty. Rest is four separate skills, and they fail independently.

Why Are So Many of Us Breaking? — a hard post to write, and an important one. What the numbers on physician suicide actually show, why so many of us stay silent, and what helped the people I know. If you are struggling, call or text 988, or call the Physician Support Line at 1-888-409-0141 to talk with a volunteer psychiatrist, no appointment needed.

If this is the fall you want to practice rest with someone in your corner, I'm taking on a small number of new coaching clients this fall.

Find the hoodie. Sit down for a while.

I'm here if you need me.

— Ben

P.S. What is one thing you would do this fall if that voice went quiet for a weekend? Hit reply and tell me.